What Shall I do

Well, it has happened again. I have been lazy and so not much was written on this page for a very long time. Truth be told I had my parents over with me for a month. It was nice having them just for myself for a change. I did not have to worry about other obligations. Me and Fairoz finally sort of took things easily. We did not rush to do things, we went out for movies and also woke up late. I got too lazy and I knew this is just temporary, so rather than jumping back on my feet and start doing things, I took advantage of the situation and started enjoying them immensely.

Its really nice, this feeling of being taken care of. Its like you're a kid again. Even though you are the lady of the house somehow you end up asking for confirmation for everything. After all she is superior. Kids loved it too. That is one thing I was worried most, how they were going to take it after they left but life is life. Not being with family here in Dubai is such a setback for the kids. They are missing out so much. They do not get enough attention at times. They are sleeping on the carpet now and looking at their soft faces I am starting to feel so bad why I don't seem to have the time for them. I cook, clean, do the laundry and bath them everyday without fail unless its Fairoz's off days. He bathes them when he is off. Then after that its feeding time and then its nappy change time and then it's nap time. And so there goes the day. Slowly the day turns into evening and its dinner time and bed time. Where do I find the time to sit and play with them or take a book and read to them. I'm clueless.

Back Again

Hello there again. For sometime I could not open my blog on friendster at all. I assumed it is because of some technical problem or they must have blocked this site too in Dubai. I am so glad that after a few complaints on my side to Friendster, I am now actually updating my blog.Hooray........

Hanaa...Continuation

At last the doctor arrived and he too had to tell me that I was not in labor. Deep inside I was very frustrated and disappointed in him because I knew he could do better than this. I knew I was definitely in labor. He told me that I had two choices, either I stay the night or I could go back home and he also told me since I was there already I might as well stay the night. He gave me an injection for the pain and told me to go back home tomorrow morning. I was confused and I was so tired and yes I was hungry. The expression I saw on my mom's face told me everything I needed to know. Soon my in laws came for a visit and left after a few words of encouragement. Mom was with me and told me to have something to eat. I did. I had a chicken burger and yes it was yummy.

Time was not moving too fast. I couldn't sleep and mom too was not very comfortable with the sofa she was on. But I still tried to get some sleep to get some strength for what was coming. Sleep came to me on and off and the pain kept waking me up. It was getting very sharp but I kept it to myself, I wanted mom to have at least some rest. Soon it was too much to bear alone and I called out to her. She just came to me with her loving words and sweet face. Looking at her gave me encouragement. I really missed my husband then. To have him there at that time was what I was praying for but I guess Allah had a reason for him not being there. Mom kept massaging me and spoke encouraging words when the contraction kept coming on too quickly. I had a loving midwife too. She was a gem of a person and without her; it could not have been a smooth ride towards the happy delivery I had. She came to check me again and told me that I have dilated 60 %. That means 6 cm and both me and amma shared tears of joy. The usual routine is that the doctor will only arrive when I have dilated 80% and so we waited and yes the pain was unbearable but I still managed to call my husband to update him. He was surprised. For a while there I just wanted to shout out to everyone telling them, "Told you I was in labor". Obviously I was not able to and yes back to the labor scene where a tiny little baby was impatient to come out. I felt the urge to push so much but they kept telling me not to for the doctor was still on his way. My husband tried to call me but I could not hear the phone ringing. I was occupied. I was shouting and screaming. My dad who was waiting outside told my sister and brother in law that two babies will do for me. Dear dad could not see his baby in pain.
Back inside the midwives was trying their best to make me not push the baby out but I kept screaming I had to and yes they gave the gas to shut me up and it did help. I was dozing off and then they were shouting telling me not to go to sleep. Nice try there. What was I supposed to do? I was not allowed to push nor sleep. Hmmm...Soon the urge was getting more and more pronounced and precisely at that time I saw my Doctor's head pop inside and my water bag burst and with just one push everything came out, Yes including the baby. All I felt was oh my, what a relief and I could hear my mom saying it's a girl it's a girl. With that happy news I just dozed off while the doctor attended to me.

The End


Posted by Fauziah Farouk on December 27, 2007 at 11:33 PM

Hanaa Part 2

I called the labour ward to talk to the nurse and started crying a bit..not because of the pain.I really could not believe that I was actually going to the hospital soon without Fairoz but the nurse mistook it for pain and me being frightened.Drove to the hospital and through out the car ride I was sobbing silently.Arrived at the hospital..one comforting thing was that I was going to give birth in the new birthing suite.Hmmm doesn't that have a nice ring to it, Birthing suite.I remember the last time i was here for my first,I started crying when I was outside the labour ward.This time around i was pretty calm,tired but calm.We went inside while dad went to park the car.All the midwives were already there to greet me with smiling faces.They asked me to sign some documents and i was brought to room number 9.Well I then told them I am not sure whether am i really in labour or not and they started doing their routine.Checked for contraction but none came.That really sort of pissed me off.Why all of a sudden it stopped, I have no idea.We were there for almost 45 mins and I decided to go back home.They gave me some painkillers.After popping them inside my mouth i started to change into my clothes and head back home.In a way I was glad but deep inside something was going on.One of the midwife said goodbye and told me,"Well who knows we might see you again tonight".I jus smiled and left.The contraction came again once i was inside the car.Well life's like that.We reached home and I saw everyone's face.They were like not another false alarm.My parents in law came and gave me some encouraging words.That was nice.

Everyone told me to go to bed to get some sleep.i was hungry though.Had this green looking "rasam" and rice and drank the horrible "kashayam" again.I went up and prayed and asked god to give me lots of strength.I tried to sleep but the the pain kept waking me up.I knew i was in labour.No one else believed me. Ha ha ..Slowly noon became evening and I had more frequent contraction and it was getting more painful.I had lots of visitors too.My aunt,grandmother and uncle came to see me.While entertaining them I timed my contraction.it was 5 mins apart and that was when I had this sharp pain,shocked me a bit but I was very calm.Climbed the stairs slowly and went to check something and truly I had a show(blood sign).Ok time to go to hospital.This time around everyone took their own sweet time.Well I gave them false alarm in the morning.While waiting for them I called my husband and updated him on what was going on.He told me to be brave and asked whether I can come online.I was like 'Sayang I'm in pain", he said "Ok darling then you go to the hospital and check it out and we'll talk over the net tomorrow",and i said "Darling I think I might have the baby soon".Well that was when true reality hit him."I'm not there ..how can you be having the baby"..I said "well..its not in our hands,but you dont worry just pray and read all the surahs i gave you and come back soon,Insyallah I will give you a beautiful baby for you to hold".That calmed him down a bit but according to my sis and Bro in law that was not the case.They called him and he called them for sometime.

We left home around 7.30 pm.This time I was hoping this was the real thing.I was actually getting very tired of running up and down.Got myself admitted and changed into hospital clothes.The midwife checked for contraction and yes you are right.It jus did not come.When one finally came she decided to check me internally and let me tell you, it is not a very nice thing and a very painful process.Instead of telling me I have dilated, she said well I have not opened up even a little and the baby's head is still not engaged.I was very frustrated to hear that.They told me the doctor will be here soon......(to be continued...aha feeding time again..)

Posted by Fauziah Farouk on March 30, 2007 at 07:18 PM

Hanaa

She is here at last..my little princess,Hanaa Zafeerah..It was a big drama and all before she made her debut into this world.I had my first contraction on 19th of February while on Google talk with hubby,telling him I will only deliver when he gets here(He was supposed to come on the 26th but was planning to surprise us on the 23rd..guess who surprised him at last..read on.)And there i was arguing with him that he must get here soon and aarrghhh,my first contraction hit me.I thought it was just a very painful braxton hicks coming to greet me now and then since i was getting it for the past 2 weeks.I told him i had it and we just laughed about it..I was so sure it was nothing.Went to bed like every other day,hoping and praying will have a safe delivery and most importantly for my dear husband to come back.You have no idea how much I wanted him to be with me.I had him with me when i delivered our first child and it was a beautiful experience for the both of us.I still get tears in my eyes when i think about it.Sentimental me..Well we hope and wish but it is He who decides.He(God) decided baby should come out soon.The whole night i couldn't sleep.Whenever i dozed off this weird pain kept waking me up.I kept telling myself it cannot be.I have this vague memory of what took place during my first delivery and the pain was very much similar.How can i have it this fast. No it can't be I told myself.And yes it was contraction all right...it hit me again and again..quite far apart.Deep inside i knew it was time.That's when mom came to check on me,I guess she knew something is going to happen from the previous night just by looking at my face.How they do that I have no idea.She came around 5 am and i was sitting down breathing in and out waiting for the contraction to pass.Then mom made some coffee for me and sat down with me to time the contraction.It was really sweet but i really missed fairoz.We were supposed to time it together but he was still in Dubai unaware that i was already in labour.After an hour of timing we decided to pray and go back to bed.I need to conserve my energy if this was real labour pain but I couldn't sleep of course.Who could when the pain kept waking me up again and again.One part was the pain and another was me in tears asking myself why now,when he is still so far away.Decided to go the hospital after lunch since the pain was quite far apart........to be continued..(need to feed baby...bye)

Posted by Fauziah Farouk on March 30, 2007 at 04:10 AM

Almost There

hmm hmm..been silent again..with good reason..Was trying to calm myself down and my toddler and the little one growing inside me.Im just waiting for March the 7.I don't know.It might come out earlier than expected..Missing Frz a lot.Thought it should be fine but hey who am i kidding.Being far away from each other is not easy.These past few months I've come to realize there is so much more to life.Patience can be tested in so many levels and yes at times I too have felt like pulling all my hair out..but pregnancy has done some good things to my hair and i would like them to stay..vain i know but hey appreciate what you have..Everyone has been telling me..its a boy..no its a girl..its a boy..Well i will love you the same little darling..no matter you're a boy or a girl..jus come out with good health and make mommy and atta proud..we only want the best for you...I look forward to the day where i can hold you in my arms and say a silent prayer of thanks to our maker.

Posted by Fauziah Farouk on January 20, 2007 at 06:47 AM

Older Posts

Baby

I know I'm supposed to keep updating my blog but good god I haven't been able to for some time. Some of them tell me that hey you're not working, you’re just at home. I feel like banging their heads with a hammer. Do you know how busy one can get with a toddler running around the house? It’s a joy to see him running around with his eyes gleaming with mischief but you're not a single gal anymore sitting in front of your comp jus wasting the day away. I now know how precious sleep is. Now that im pregnant again, I jus wish I could go to bed whenever I want but my honey bunny misses me. I can hear him outside my room calling amma, ma, mama and there goes my will to sleep. That’s how it was for the past 4 months but now I’m home with my mother and my in laws. They take good care of him and I can put up my feet and feel the pain slowly being lifted off me. The part about having a baby is that it’s wonderful nonetheless but it’s the being pregnant part that puts me off. I have all the pains you can imagine and they keep knocking my door every day.Cramps, spasms, nausea, you name it, I've got it. But I guess one has to go through it no matter what. It’ll be so worth it at the end of my nine months. That’s all for now I guess….might take some time off till I update again…he he….bye

Posted by Fauziah Farouk on October 09, 2006 at 07:45 PM

Writing on a new crisp page is something I always look forward to. Though this page cannot be actually described as a crisp page is another matter altogether. I remember writing on my diary when I was young, turning to a new page and starting a new topic was always fun. It holds a new experience, new beginnings and a chance to start fresh. So here I am on a new site, not exactly a new crisp page, but I would like to think so.

For a stay at home Mom who provides for her family 24 hours, one can say that time is something that passes you by without notice. The saying "Time and Tide waits for No Man" is so true here. As for myself I wish the day had more hours so that I have time for the family and for myself. Unfortunately, that is a fool's wish. I'm sure everyone agrees with me here. So I went on and on as to what I could do at home while caring for the little ones and the thought of writing hit me all of a sudden. And so here I am at last writing my first entry. This is is just a simple blog, a blog where I can write whatever I want to and whenever I want to. That's all....hmmmm



Though my old blog still exists (http://fauzifairoz.blogs.friendster.com/fauzis/) , unfortunately I am not able to update on it due to some technical problems. Hence this move was imperative. In time my old entries on my old blog will slowly move in here, starting today.....



Thoughts

when situations allows you some time for yourself,we tend to sit down and look out to the blue sky and ponder on whats happening around us and to us.where are we,how did we get here and boy wasn't that fast.Time flies so fast these days.all of us are so into our own mind,the clutter it makes and tend to forget what we promised ourselves when we started the journey we're in now.All those things we vowed to uphold no matter what seems very distant but somewhere inside you it keeps flashing a warning sign,"hey have you forgotten me lass".Of course we haven't.Its there in a nook trying to grow but our selfishness creeps up and the flash sign dims a little.....and its forgotten yet again.

10-12-2005 at 11:37 PM